Right: baby Faith. Left: Rainbow baby Joy.

Right: baby Faith.
Left: Rainbow baby Joy.

 

"In December 2009 my husband and I got the wonderful news that we were expecting our first baby.  We were over the moon and so excited.  

We did our first round of testing. When I saw my baby on the screen, I was in love...in awe that that life was growing inside me.  Then a couple days later I got a phone call from the doctor's office - he wanted to see me as soon as possible.  I went in and he told me that there were possible signs of Down Syndrome. That was no big issue. I was thinking, 'We can deal with that'.  I have always had a place in my heart for people with DS: I just love their joy, their big huge smiles.  I was sent for more testing. The blood work came back positive for Trisomy 18.  That really worried me after doing the research.  I agreed to the Amniocentesis, knowing in my mind that whatever the result, we were not going to terminate.  When the results came in, everything was fine: no Down Syndrome, no Trisomy 18.  We were having a girl!

At my 20 week ultrasound the technician asked me if I had an Amnio done. I said, "Yes, everything is fine".  Then there was silence after that.  The radiologist came in and looked and he told me that my baby was a dwarf.  Again, I can deal with that.  My thoughts were that my child was going to get teased. 

We were sent up to the genetics department where we were given the heart wrenching news: they suspected Faith had a fatal form of Dwarfism called Thantophoric Dysplasia.  The ribcage is too small so the lungs cannot develop properly, so after birth she would die because her lungs would not be developed.  They urged us to terminate.  

My husband William and I decided that we were going to let God decide whether she lived or not.  It was the hardest decision to have to make.  While all around me my pregnant friends were preparing their nurseries, I was preparing her funeral.

 We had people who did not agree with our choice not to terminate, and we had a lot of support as well.  

At 32.5 weeks I was hospitalized, I had slow amniotic fluid leak. There was a risk of infection and we had to make a decision whether or not to go ahead with inducing or not.  After thinking about it, (if she was meant to live, she would), we agreed to do the inducing.  It was a long process.  She did not want to come, I think she knew that she would be in Heaven after she left the cozy womb.  

At 34 weeks, 6 days, Faith arrived.  She lived for 12 minutes.  She passed peacefully in my arms.  Faith Doris Farrow, July 15, 2010 1:42am to 1:58am.  We were thankful to have our supportive family and friends in the room. My Pastor was there as well and he dedicated her even though she passed.  Most of all, we were thankful for Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep to come and do photos.  The best keepsakes I can have.

 To this day I just do not fully understand why I had to go through this. It still hurts.  In my heart I know we made the right choice and do not regret it.  I know someday we will see her again.  We did have our rainbow baby, she brings us so much joy.  We had our testing of our Faith and now we got our Joy." -Anna

 

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