“I am a 48 year old mother of six. When I was married to my first husband, I got pregnant with my baby #3. I was so excited and at the time so was he. His mother, began to complain that this was too many kids and nagged him so much to the point where he gave me an ultimatum to abort the baby or separate because his mom was right. I begged and pleaded with him to support the pregnancy/ baby, but ultimately I caved and murdered my baby when I was 20 weeks pregnant. I went against everything I believed, all for so called love for my husband. I still grieve for my baby. I lied to myself for sometime, saying it was not a baby, just a clump of cells, but I knew the truth. I became pregnant again with baby #4, I think I was trying to make amends with what I had done. I kept this pregnancy and he was not supportive and neither was his mom.
Needless to say, our marriage fell apart, I lost all respect for my husband as the protector of our family. I was hurt and angry that he caved to his mother’s demands and I was more angry at myself for caving to his demands and committing the unthinkable.
I am grateful that God has forgiven me, that He granted me mercy instead of His wrath. I am now remarried and have two additional children.
All this to say, God is a loving, and forgiving God, but this does not erase from my mind this horrible act. I know I am forgiven and it is only in Christ that I have found peace. I often pause and wonder what my baby would have looked like, would have become. When I see pictures of babies 20 weeks in the womb, it takes me back to my baby and yes I still weep. I pray abortion ends, I pray that God will move in the hearts of the women considering abortion and fight for their babies. God is good and quick to forgive even women like me who committed the unthinkable.” -Anonymous